I am totally late in posting in the New Year of 2023. It seems to be the way of my life for the past almost two years, I hate to admit. Ever since I had to change my MS treatments, my life has been in a whirlwind of so many things. I am yet to find a treatment that fits my life. That is the ultimate goal with the treatments, to slow the progression of the disease and to find one that helps you live your life. And right now, I am still in search for just that. I have gone from feeling so sick I can’t get out of bed, to so tired I am not sure how to function, to feeling I am not sure what to feel, and to my current state of getting 10 days a month to really feel “okay.”
I am not one to really tell you the whole truth if you ask how I am doing. I will give an answer I truly wish I could say. But I have learned in this “trial time” of finding my life back with a new treatment, that I am not how I wish I was feeling. Not even close. I will not let this stop me from staying positive or happy, although some days do get the best of me. I have learned to be more honest with others and most importantly with myself. What good am I doing my family, if I am not at my best?
On a positive note and SUPER important fact of my treatments is the fact that the treatments ARE WORKING!!! Best news and the results you definitely want to hear. Thank you God for doing just that and so much more! So as much as I feel I am complaining or not feeling my best, I am forever thankful for the treatment to be slowing the progression of the disease down. Now is the time to try to find a way to get all the other “stuff” figured out and not compromise the treatment.
So…with all that said lol, I have so many goals and ideas I want to accomplish that have had to be put on the back burner or put on pause or not done the best way because I have not had any energy or stamina to make them come alive. It has been very self depleting to want something so bad but your body, because of an illness you were blessed to have, does not allow to happen. I have lost my zest and spark of creativity and being a difference maker over these past two years. I feel I have let others down, myself down, and let God down too. So I am here to say, or maybe, PROCLAIM!!! I put my faith and trust in God to continue to guide me in my health journey and in all aspects of my life. Nothing that happens is not suppose to happen. So these past two years of feeling like poop, was suppose to happen. I am stronger because of it and will do ANYTHING to be an ABLE MOMMA to my children. And we keep fighting! MS will not win. Not today, not ever.
I thank you all for your support!! XO
You’re a prime example of love, courage, determination, caring, positivity, and optimism for the rest of us who moan and groan if we stub our toes! You’re loved by your wonderful family and many others you have touched in some way. Between you and God your MS doesn’t stand a chance! Prayers for you and your family continue! God bless you!??