My Journey with MS, and what a ride it has been…
I was driving to an appointment the other day and for some reason got these overwhelming feelings of gratitude, fear, anger, and hope all at once. Quite a combo of emotions, huh? But it is true. I think the song playing sparked these emotions as well. I then just started to cry thinking of all that has gone on in my life in the past five years since being diagnosed with MS.
I started to think of how far I have come and how far I still need to go with this disease. I was thinking how much it really sucked to be sick every single week from the weekly injection of Avonex. Even with that feeling, I still do it every week and was grateful that it was working for those four years. I just did it, I did not have time to have a pity party (although I had my fair share of them) and did not have time to get too pissed off about it (even though I did get really mad at times too). But in the big picture, I did it and I did it well if you asked me! Then a year ago I started a new treatment called Tysaburi, which I was totally excited about because it did not have any side effects like the other treatment. However, the one concern was a brain infection that I could acquire, that could possibly, take my life. Hello! That is scary! But I knew in my heart that God is taking care of me and he would not give this option unless he felt it was worth it. And it is! It is a treatment through an IV once a month for two hours and Done! The fight continues and I feel great doing it! Soo appreciative of the advancements in medicine and all those working so hard to find new and better treatments and one day a CURE!
I thought of all the up’s and down’s with not only the disease, the medications, the emotions, the finances, the insurance, and so much more. It truly has been a roller coaster of life changing events that no one can really explain unless they have gone through something like this. And not too many people out there have, so for all those who’s lives have been a breeze, you are lucky and I hope you know it and appreciate it. But like I have said before, I would not change my life’s path at all. It has made me the person I am today.
I was thinking of all the things that have happened in the past five years and how amazing my life really is. I have been blessed with so much in my life, more than I think I even realize at times. I have the most amazing support anyone could ask for. I am able to see this first hand with having MS and feel lucky to be able to recognize this rather than not. Nathan and I bought our first home in 2009 and love it! Nathan asked me to marry him on Christmas Eve 2009 and got married in June 2010! And now the most amazing joy of it all, we are expecting TWINS who will be here in December 2012!!! If you ask me, this has been an unbelievable, amazing past five years! All those tears I shed were worth it and put my life in perspective on how lucky I am.
My wish for you…
Take time to reflect on your own life. I bet you will realize how amazing it is too. What are you grateful for? Have things happened that really make you realize that you are one lucky person? Think about it…
XOXO
